" I am a Shaman coming out of hiding."

“I wish that you’d just take things for face value!” It was those words that took precedence within my head for the years to come. I knew that I would never be able to just simply take things for face value but at that time, I didn’t exactly understand why. A decade later, I now know exactly why!

The principle within those words began my search for who I really was, but it was also the alienation within those words that kept me in hiding. For the faint few, I have been blessed to be transparent, but to the immediate world around me I have remained unseen. The truth is that if you actually got to know me and peeled back my layers, you would come to understand that I too am as exposed and as wounded as any of you. Yet I have always had the eyes to see the depths of the wounds that make us vulnerable and the passion & strength to understand how to heal them. It was this ability that provoked those words to be spoken at me in the first place.

You see, face value in this case was a cloak of invisibility that this individual exhibited in order to hide their wounds, and although I understood that, they chose to deny that realism and not live in their truth. Walking away from this individual, I spent the last many years diving deep into this understanding of who I was. Investigating why I had x-ray vision to see deeply into others, why I could feel their emotions and pinpoint the dark secrets within them that kept them in an anguished state.

It was within this period of investigation that I began to understand the individuality of each and every one of us. It became my belief that we all hold special talents—gifts, you could say, that provide us with the opportunity to be a vital working component within the collective whole. But finding those talents within ourselves and then creating an application for those talents are oftentimes our biggest cruxes. At least this was and has been my immediate struggle for most of my life, as I am sure it has been for most of you as well.

In my situation, what was clear was that I held talents that would place me in a category of a healer but not in a conventional sort of way, which is why I struggled with finding my working identity for so long. My gifts made me an outlier to the norm and instead of feeling like I could be an asset to the community, invited in with open arms, I felt like more like an alien being cast away. In fact, I had been ridiculed in the more recent past when I tried to present my abilities to the outside world and found myself retrieving back into the shadows. It took time and a lot of healing within myself to finally come to terms with who I actually am and to honor what I have chosen to be within this lifetime.

With that said, I am a Shaman coming out of hiding! Yes, I said a Shaman and for those of you who don’t know what that means, I plan on spending the next many years writing about it and sharing my story with the world. To put it simply and to give you a quick answer, a Shaman is a person who calls upon our Creator, Ancestors, Helping Spirits and their Higher selves to help facilitate and participate in the healing of others by becoming the intermediary between our perception of ordinary reality and non-ordinary reality. Basically, I work a lot within the spiritual realm. This doesn’t mean that I will quit working with the physical and mental aspects of each individual I work with. I will remain a massage therapist and yoga instructor but in this case it has not been those identifying terms that I have struggled with.  

It has not been easy accepting the archetype of the Shaman but it has become obvious that this is who I am! I will no longer deny this fact and try to pick careers that blur me into the scene around me so that I can be comfortable. Besides, I’ve tried that approach many times and every time I do so, things never actually work out for me.

So here I am, coming out of the shadows with an open heart and a humble mind. I want to bring my best to the world and to be a vital component within the collective whole. I want to share my talents with others and provide others with the opportunity for healing so that they too can find their passions and be a dynamic element within the collective. I feel that it’s important that we can each can bring our gifts to the world without harsh ridicule and condemnation but instead with compassion and excitement. Let's support each other’s unique abilities so that we all can thrive in our own distinctiveness.

In conclusion, I am here to shine to my light, to bow to our Creator and serve others in healing to the best of my best ability.

 

Photo Taken By: Robert Chadwell

Photo Taken By: Robert Chadwell